Sleeping Underneath the Willow Tree
by AwesomenestSmile
Summary: Tohru's life has always been defined as running away. She lives in fear running from town to town with her brother from a threat known as the family. A story filled with secrets and lies, and a love that would have never worked out. Please RxR! Rated M for violence and some sexual situations, and my stupid paranoia. (/.\)
1. Chapter 1: Fear

Chapter 1: Fear

Fear is often misunderstood as something that fades away or gets replaced by another emotion, but that's not what it is. It stays with you forever controls your life, your every move. You're constantly looking over your shoulder, in front of your feet… trying to avoid the dark emotion at all times.

No matter how many times we ran or moved, we never were in one place for too long. We would always leave before somebody thought to remember our "names". Always out of Fear.

We weren't raised normally like other kids, my brother and I. We weren't told to be nice and have good manners, we were taught to stay in solitude, if anyone asked us questions we were taught to run. We were taught how to throw a knife and hit the target perfectly. How to unlock the safety guards on guns, and how to steal without anyone noticing. How to aim. We were taught how to run and dodge like a gazelle, hide and blend into the crowd. We were taught how to be normal and survive. Sometimes… it just wasn't good enough.

My aunt would always sleep with normal day clothes on, afraid we would have to run in the middle of the night.

"Always have a bag packed." She would say.

Each time we moved we were reminded constantly the rules of our safety:

Rule #1: Always expect ambush.

Rule #2: Only take what is necessary.

Rule #3: NEVER under any circumstances talk to anyone.

When I was five she sat my brother and I down and told us our mother's tale of the Red Butterfly. She told it with no facial emotion as if she didn't care.

"The Red Butterfly was fearless, brave. She rode so fast on her motorcycle that when people looked at her backlights they always swore to themselves they say a Red Butterfly.

She was a trouble maker, she snuck out at night … joined a gang. She hung out with all the wrong people, and dated all the wrong guys. One man she would always swear he was the one. Sometimes I believed her, he was handsome, and she fell head over heels instantly. They were soon married.

Then, his true nature was revealed. In truth, he was selfish and cruel. He did so many horrible things to your mother..." She would trail off and her eyes would get glassy as if remembering so many unseen memories, and then snap out of it and continue.

"... but she was young and still loved him. One day he didn't come home, and God you were so young both of you, he called and told your mother bluntly, that he owed someone a lot of money and he was sorry because the man who he owed was coming for her and the children. And the next thing I knew I was out on the road with the both of you. We headed to the next city, and when we woke up the next morning in our hotel… your mother was dead. Hideous headlines popped up on the television painting pictures we could only imagine.

Now all we can do is run, or else he'll catch us and sell us, use us, for his own sick purposes. We'll never be safe as long as he's alive. I truly hope one day you'll wake and not be afraid to live, peacefully and hope, never Fear."

I was only seven, my brother eleven, when I broke one of our only rules. I was lonely, afraid. We had come to the grocery store and I was separated from them, when I wandered down the stupid isle with the forbidden candies we were never allowed to eat. I looked and called for her but I couldn't find her so I sat in the corner and cried, certain the evil man who was looking for us would find me. Then a store clerk found me, a worried look pasted on his face,

"What's your mom's name?"

I was so DUMB. I forgot all of our rules that one second and I told him… her name rung and echoed across the store, the parking lot, for what seemed like forever, over and over. She ran to get me, panic laced into her fine sketched features. She grabbed my hand and tried to pull me out along with my brother, but it was already too late. Before we got out those doors, two big black SUV's pulled up blocking escape.

She had to think fast so she pushed both of us behind some close vending machines, and ran out, her head held high.

A young man yelled and they dragged her, fighting and screaming to his feet. I strained to hear, dust and my brother's hand covering my screams, and finally he spoke, down at her as if she wasn't worth any of his time.

" Finally after all this time we have found you Ms. Honda. Long time no see, eh?" His voice made me shudder, but my aunt, brave as ever, looked at him coldly, disgust scrunching up her face.

" I thought your Father would at least give me the courtesy of killing me himself, but it looks like he sent you to do it. He's just wasting my time." Then, doing the unthinkable, she spat at his feet.

One of the man's men kicked her, and her scream as well as a loud sickening crunch filled the icy air.

I struggled in my brother's warm grasp wishing he would let me go and let me help her, but it would be instant death for the both of us. The man flicked his hand quickly in a motion for the men to stop, and leaned down.

"We both know how this is going to go, so I may as well get to the point. Where are the children?" His voice was silky and smooth, but underneath it all he was a snake poised to strike.

I feared for her, a cold wind blew and I shivered. Goosebumps rose along my arms and legs, but as always my aunt remained strong and proud, voicing her words with cold determination, clarity, and strength.

"Like I'd ever tell you that, you stupid son of a Bitch."

He hesitated looked into her eyes, and flicked his hand, yawning and saying nonchalantly,

"I can already see this will get us nowhere. Kill her."

My brother's hand still held tight over my mouth, but when he pulled that gun out of his coat and the bullet sliced through the air, and it pounded itself through her thin body, my silent scream rang with it. Tears rolled down my cheeks relentlessly and God, no matter how much weakness I was showing I didn't care. I could feel my brother shaking and wet droplets fell onto my head and soaked into my hair.

The man turned and his chilling, deceiving voice rang and echoed in my brain.

"Children, know this, you have escaped my grasp this time, but wherever you go I hope you will always look behind your shoulder, because I will never be too far behind."

And he left. Just like that my brother and I, cheated Death. My brother and I sat there gasping in relief and crying in grief. We slowly crawled out of the crevice behind the vending machines, and headed toward our aunt. Her cold figure shivered in the white snow. Little white specks fluttered down and melted on her eyelashes. The deep dark maroon blood soaked into the snow… she was beautiful, but the scene was gory, and horrific.

She gasped and through my tears I saw her alabaster hand creep towards mine in slow motion. I grabbed at it, and held it between my own, thinking I could warm her up… but we both knew it was hopeless. Her lips were turning shades of blue, I was frozen with this fear that she would disappear, before I'd given her the words I love you. She shook and opened her mouth and said,

" Tohru, hear my words. Except for your brother, everyone is your enemy. Never trust anyone because all they will do is stab you in the back. In our life, there is no room for friends, lovers, family, only ourselves. Remember, beauty fades to ugliness, love turns to hate,…"

I picked up where she left off, remembering what she always told me,

" Friendship to betrayal, and family to grief. I know the rules."

Her features turned softly from pain to relief. And as her chocolate eyes began to close she said,

"Take all the necessary things and get as far from here as possible, don't go straight home because that's where they expect you to be. When you get there the weapons, the money, are all in the pipes underneath the floorboards. When you leave never look back. God's Speed."

After her words her hand gently floated away from mine , and as much as I hated to say it… I was jealous, because my aunt no longer had anything to fear, for there was nothing to fear in Heaven.~


	2. Chapter 2: Hesitation

(A/N)

_I'm so sorry I haven't uploaded... in well… FOREVER! I apologize deeply, but I promise I'll stay on my game from now on, because people seem to like it, and I'm truly happy in alpaca land. So here goes the next chapter about poor Honda-san, and I really hope it's as good (if not better) than the last. Please RxR it makes me cry happy tears. ._

Chapter 2: Hesitation

I was jolted awake as my alarm clock went off just like every other morning, but today seemed impossibly different. Which always meant trouble, change was always trouble. It made you vulnerable, because you were so open. You had to keep closed to change … always. My brother's voice could be heard through the closed door and I groaned in frustration.

"Get up! You're going to be late if you don't!" God, what an annoying voice.

I debated whether I should get up from my covers. Outside of my warm coffin, there was the world, and even the simplest minded knew, it was big, bad, and ugly, but nobody knew as much as my brother and I. Over the years without the guidance of our Aunt, we grew even wiser. When to buy a ticket and how to not draw attention. How to blend into the masses and make ourselves disappear.

I was confident in our skills, so I hesitantly climbed out of my bed. I was now 17, and like any other teenager I was going to High School. Unlike many others though, I cherished it. It was something normally brushed to the side, but I loved it. My mind overflowed with information, which was just more tips to use. I hated the human contact, but it was something I could deal with.

I was thankful for the small apartment we now lived in. The last place had been a hole in the wall in a crack head neighborhood. Nights of not nearly enough sleep and mornings of overdosed coffee. Now, it was fairly nice we had separate rooms and a functional kitchen that I could cook in. We had enough money to buy groceries and enough left over to go to school, what a freaking luxury.

I quickly rushed to small bedroom across the hall and did my usual morning routine only grimacing at my brother's casually thrown boxers hanging from the towel rack. How disturbing. Then I carelessly jumped around my room trying to balance while putting on my bra while trying to get my leg through my jeans. Which seemed difficult. I threw on a sweater and slung my hair into a high ponytail. I stomped into my worn tennis and threw in my earplugs in my crappy no name MP3.

I pranced into the kitchen swiping my brother's toast and ran away without hearing the heartfelt cusswords coming from his already purple face. I could practically hear him screaming like he always did when I took something, "Swipes no Swipey!" And that alone made me laugh. But as soon as I stepped out of my front door I could feel my body going into automatic cautious mode. Something it always did ever since that cold December day.

I walked down the road and mentally traced my steps, noticing all the back roads I could take for a quick getaway if anything made me choose fight or flight. Not too long into my walk I happened upon this small area in the middle of a cute little park on my route. It was partially hidden behind a pair of bushes, but my eyes caught everything so I took a chance and pushed my toned body through the gap, which was not an easy feat. In front of me stood a gargantuan fountain webbed over by beautiful vines seeming to reach towards the sun. Around it were ornate stone benches surrounded by beautiful Gardenias and lilies of every color. I sighed in reverie but pulled myself out of my state of admiration. I made a mental note to come back later that day and went back to my path.

Sooner than later I marched into my school. It was an old gothic looking stone building with the words, "Where excellence doesn't just happen it's a decision we make every day." Etched into the wall. I could already feel myself gag. I made my way through the dimly lit halls and willed my nausea to go away, but of course it only intensified.

I made my way to front office and grimaced when the lonely face of an overly caked up face of a middle aged woman looked up.

"May I help you?" Oh god that voice…

I forced myself to smile and nodded.

"You see I'm new…"

She nodded vigorously and pulled out two slim papers, handing them to me.

"Yes, Ms…" she glanced down at my papers and continued, "Suzuki. We've been expecting you."

I mentally grimaced at my stupid name. Here we had to change every year at least, so for now my name was Hana Suzuki. Ugh, what a stupid name…

I thanked her and made my way out; glancing down at the papers she had given me. One pertained my schedule and locker and the other was my excuse for being late, too bad she didn't give me a dang map now I'll be even more late then I already was.

When I finally found my way to Homeroom the period was almost over. I confidently walked into the class and handed the balding short stubby man my note. He glanced at me furiously but stopped when I glared at him, I could practically see his blood run cold.

He turned towards the class and announced, "Class, Ms. Suzuki the new student," he then turned to me and said, "You may sit behind Mr. Sohma in the back." He gestured carelessly to and orange haired looking boy, who glared daringly at me throwing daggers, but I threw one right on back. Which he obviously didn't expect from the stupid look he had on his face. I bet every girl cowered at his glare, but I wasn't a fragile flower like my name made me out to be. I could feel everyone's eyes burning holes into my back, but I ignored them and sat in my designated seat behind the flaming haired douche bag. Dang, if it weren't for his attitude I mighta liked him, since I had a thing for redheads.

The 10 minutes left of the period passed by quickly enough and I jumped out of my seat finding the quickest way through the horde of students rushing towards the door. I avoided as much human contact as I could, but common give me a break I was in a High School for Christ sake. I pushed open the door to my math class and made my way to the back sitting in an empty desk, astonished by how much mundane pen graffiti littered the top of it. I mean we were in the 12th grade not the 2nd.

I groaned mentally as the flaming douche bag came in through the classroom door, but this time he had an angry looking purple headed friend trailing behind him. His aura was gentle enough but I could tell he was royally pissed the fluff off.

I put my guard up as the nice looking one smiled at me and sat right in front of me. While the other one stood in front of me glaring. I shrugged and went back to admiring my desk. He slammed his fist right in front of my face hard on the desk. Which caused me to instantly react, grabbing his wrist and twisting him so it was behind his back. I quickly let go and sat back down and smirked as he sat beside me, it wasn't like me to act without thinking and it surprised me but something about him just rubbed me the wrong way.

The one in front of me turned around and I hid behind my shield of brown hair. He smiled and gave me a thumbs up. Which I couldn't help but laugh at. The red haired one started to shout something but the teacher walked in, and he shut up.

The period ended and I made my way out looking behind me making sure I wasn't being followed by the red ferret. I made my way to my next period and was relieved to find neither one of the creepies in there. A girl my age went into a temper tantrum after her pencil refused to sharpen, but other than that it was a blur. It was right before lunch when I saw the flaming ferret and his goony again and that was art, which was about the only class I loved. We were put together at one table in the corner and as soon as the teacher turned her back Mr. Barney turned towards me and said,

"Hi, I'm Yuki.' So that was Barney's name.

I refused to answer him and turned back to my quick draw. The flaming douche bag slammed his fist down on the table and shouted at my face,

"Answer!"

And before I could stop myself I yelled back, "DANG IS THAT THE ONLY THING YOU DO?!"

The whole room grew silent and I slammed my head down on the table hissing in frustration…

So much for laying low.

(A/N)

(/.\) Good? Should I continue? Because I don't know, I need some positive feedback so please review or feel free to message me… back to strange alpaca land I go.


	3. Chapter 3: Agitation

Hey you guys, I know I haven't been on at all since the last update, but it was basically because I had no idea where this story was going…but after my recent break I got my act together and gave the whole story a basic outline. So from now on I should have regular updates. I'm thinking one per week, and I may get a little overexcited and release multiple ones at a time.

So I won't keep drabbling on and on here it goes. As always I hope to read more comments and things to help me along the way. I hope you all have happy llama dreams with robot unicorns simply because Vie become quite obsessed with them lately.

Sleeping Underneath the Willow Tree

Chapter 3: Agitation

_Recap:_

_I refused to answer him and turned back to my quick draw. The flaming douche bag slammed his fist down on the table and shouted at my face._

"_Answer!"_

_And before I could stop myself I yelled back,_

_"DANG IS THAT THE ONLY THING YOU DO?!"_

_The whole room grew silent and I slammed my head down onto the table hissing in frustration._

_So much for laying low…_

This morning was just like every other one, why didn't I realize that it could all change in the blink of an eye like it has so many times before? As Kyo stared at me in disbelief, Yuki fell to the floor in laughter. At this it only seemed as if the rest of the class stared at us even more, like it was something deafly rare to see Barney laugh. With all of this attention pointed at us my only decision was to fix it.

"Can you please stop this?"

Yuki instantly sobered up and sat back in his chair, something I could only be grateful for. Kyo seemed stony as ever and stayed standing up. I could practically feel the redness creeping up from my chest and silently prayed it wasn't visible and just my imagination. Frankly I was scared of these to boys…to bring so much change like they just had…it scared me crapless. After all the years at so any different locations and schools, God decided now would be the time to bring about these two. Not only had the red-haired on made me speak but he downright made me yell with so many witnesses around. Something about him struck me to the core. I knew no matter what I would never shake this fear of him.

There was that blasted word again…fear, like rotten berries, sickly sweet, something I fought to spit out. The fear of The Family finding us after all this time, all because of a couple of loud mouthed brats who couldn't keep their traps shut-

_Tohru, Stop it._

The inner voice nagged at me, but even I knew…prisoners could escape their confinement, their bars, their cage, but never their past. It seemed to go on forever, this fear only making me doubt myself more. Was it right to talk to these boys. They seemed harmless enough, but covers could be misleading.

"Are you okay?"

I glanced up at Yuki. He genuinely looked worried, so I gave him the honest answer he rightly deserved,

"I will be if you leave me alone."

He looked taken aback if only for a second, then his royal prince façade was back into place. Kyo's grew as red as his hair, with what I assumed was anger. It couldn't be helped there was nothing I could do at this point, but push them away.

But God, I was so tired. I wanted to go home and find Mom cooking like she did when I got home early when I was little, for her to take care of me when I was sick, to forget about The Family. Not to see her in my dreams cold and lifeless 6 ft. under with my Aunt-

Yuki's cold voice begged my full attention.

"I'm sorry, but I just can't do that."

In a flash of unforgettable memories, Yuki's face changed to _his. _The disease. The Unforgettable Curse. A smirk maniacal enough to give the Devil the quivers evident on his face. I stumbled backwards falling from my stool, as his laughter curled around me.

"You're far too interesting."

A wail worked up from my gut and into my throat, but I clenched my teeth daring it to defy me and escape my lips. I pulled myself to my feet as the shrill ring of the bell rang through the building. I turned tail and ran.

Kyo clenched his teeth in agitation and glared at Yuki. The rat bastard had no right to scare her like that and he knew it. He blushed furiously after realizing he too had no right to yell at her either. He had wanted to apologize so badly, but he couldn't force himself to say it.

Yuki had seen Kyo glaring at him and decided to wipe the stupid look on his face off with a brutal punch to the jaw.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?"

Yuki smirked at the Cats foolishness.

"That's for yelling at the poor girl you incompetent feline. Now get the fuck up we have a meeting remember?"

As if Kyo could forget. He wished he could.

20 minutes later they were at the tall wooden gates they were to have the meeting at. Really the both of them wanted so badly to be somewhere else, the blasted place gave them both the creeps. The had suffered terrible memories here, but as the lithe figure jumped over the fence they realized once again like at countless other times there was no possible way they could escape their fate. Tall and graceful like the darkness he embraced the man they feared so much stood before them. His presence demanded to be recognized. Just like pain demanded to be felt.

"Hello, Akito."

I'm pretty sure all of you had seen this coming but yeah… SURPRISE?

I know this chapter was short and not as masterful as I had planned but I just wanted to get you introduced to the characters a lil bit. As you know _always _reviews are always welcomed in my humble abode of solitude and the next chapter will definitely be better than this.

XOXO

Sid3Effect


	4. Chapter 4: Hopeless

_(A/N)_

_I realize my last chapter wasn't long or really interesting. I wanted to get back into the plotline and kind of rushed it… which sucks. Anyway here's the next chappie. Just so you guys don't get confused whenever I am talking about a person other than Tohru I will be in 3__rd__ POV. Tohru is the only one who gets my first person special stuff, unless you guys actually want a chapter in Kyo's or Yuki's or anybody's POV you only have to ask. Again please RxR. _

_Recap:_

_20 minutes later they were at the tall wooden gates they were to have the meeting at. Really the both of them wanted so badly to be somewhere else, the blasted place gave them both the creeps. The had suffered terrible memories here, but as the lithe figure jumped over the fence they realized once again like at countless other times there was no possible way they could escape their fate. Tall and graceful like the darkness he embraced the man they feared so much stood before them. His presence demanded to be recognized. Just like pain demanded to be felt._

_"Hello, Akito."_

Chapter 4: Job Hunting

Akito stood in front of them tall and proud, unforgiving and malevolent. It was something they both new well, his anger. They knew it like the back of their hand. He would be quiet like the calm before the storm, and then unleash it in a flurry of harsh words and quick but unrelenting punishments. They cowered when he raised his hand, and Akito took it as submission. Akito knew what fear could do. Fear was power in his mind. It controlled others so he wouldn't have to keep an eye on them all the time. A deadly smirk appeared on his face, the exact replica of the one that was on Yuki's a few minutes earlier.

Yuki could feel Akito's stare on his face, even though he dared not to look into his eyes. He knew if he did the hatred that settled there would be nothing greater than a spoiled child who had to share his toy. That's all he ever had been to Akito even when he was baby. He was only a toy, a weak one at who couldn't defend himself. Back in his naive days he used to think he didn't have to obey Akito's every word. That somebody would punish Akito for all the wrong things he did to him. He had made the horrible mistake of going to his older brother, Ayame, after a particularly harsh beating one night, for help. The older man said nothing but a simple 'Let go of me' and Yuki knew he wouldn't be able to trust anyone again. He learned that a life being part of a Mob was a harsh one, and that the Boss's kid could do whatever he fucking wanted…for only one reason. He was the Boss's kid.

Kyo had it worse though just like members of his branch of The Family always did. The Family worked like this: There were 13 branches all together. First was God. Also known as Akito's branch. Then Rat & Snake who had somehow gotten mixed together, known as Yuki & Ayame. There were other branches too; the whole family was the perfect picture of the Chinese zodiac. Except for Kyo. The cat. The curse.

He was the one who didn't belong, the one who had to follow orders, the one who was the virtual slave, dirty, and a nuisance. He would have to live with it his whole life or until he married. But who would marry him? A dirty worker for a mob he was supposed to be in…and even if someone did, they would have to have the marriage blessed by none other than Akito, who didn't like sharing. His future was bleak and dark, it promised nothing and he fought every day not to become like his Dad, or his Grandfather, bowing down to their will with no fight whatsoever.

They were bound to the Mob and the strings that connected them were sewn so deep into their bodies that no matter how much they wanted to escape they knew they never would. It was horrible having a fate that was already decided, especially when it one you never signed up for. Yuki avoided Akito's gaze until his hand reached out and grabbed him by his chin.

"Look at me when I stand before you." The acid in his eyes burned his soul and he cowered in fear.

See Yuki was the strongest out in the field but when they went to the main house something about him broke. Roles shifted and Kyo became strong even though nature had thrown him the short end of the stick. Kyo stepped in front of Yuki.

"Why'd you call us?"

Akito sneered and brushed Kyo out of the way.

"I didn't necessarily call you here, _cat. _It seems since you're here we can't even go inside. We'll just have to settle to have the meeting here."

Yuki could see Kyo clench his fists, and wondered how he did it. How he took everything in stride. How his spirit never broke. Kyo's voice was wobbly and Yuki could only guess he was trying to contain his rage.

"What are we supposed to talk about?"

"About Tohru of course." 

Tohru PoV

I sighed as I stood in front of the big hospital. I didn't know anything about being a doctor, but I knew how to work hard, I knew how to make anything spotless. Janitor would be open right? There was always room for janitors. So I stood with my head held high and walked in. I cringed at the mixture of soap, hand sanitizer, and bleach. I hated hospitals, but this was the only thing close to school and my apartment it was either this or a stupid romantic dress shop. And I was never going to work there, even if I had too.

After avoiding everybody's gaze I walked right up to the front desk and tapped the bell. A snide receptionist sat there and I greeted me with a tired glare.

"Can I help you?"

I fought real hard not to answer with a sarcastic comment and just said,

"Do you have any open spots for cleaners?"

She rolled her eyes and popped her bubblegum.

"No, we already have all spots taken. Sorry."

My heart dropped and I froze.

"Please, there must be something."

She picked up the phone and started dialing. She blatantly ignored me and started talking into the receiver.

"_Did you see him today?... No… can you believe that?... We had barely said bye and he was swoosh! Out the door… men right? Jeez-"_

"Mam please all I want is-"

She glared at me and put a well-manicured hand in front of my face.

"_Look Janet I get it, but really?... No… you're better-"_

"Mam!"

She cut off the phone. If looks could kill I'd have been 6 feet under 10 minutes ago.

"Look, did anybody teach you manners you little brat… can't you see I'm on the phone? Do I have to call security to escort you out?"

I was about to reach across the desk and teach her what extensive combat training could do to a girl when a soothing voice came from behind me.

"Is there a problem here?"

I spun around and forced myself not to elbow the person who had snuck behind me in the face. I stopped when I realized he was no threat. In fact he was almost calming, he was somber and tall. He stood relaxed and his eyes or eye I should say stared straight through me, scaring me slightly.

The receptionist exclaimed from behind me,

"Dr. Hatori!" She sputtered and flinched when I turned around. She threw up her hand and pointed directly at my face as though the man couldn't see me in front of him. "Th-this girl! She refused to leave after I told her there were no janitorial spots open!"

He sighed and glanced at me with careless eyes, ones I knew well, ones that said _I have given up._ I instantly took a liking to the guy and stepped closer to him. I figured with eyes like that he would maybe help me.

"Please, Dr… Hatori? I really need this job, I'll be anything you want, a janitor, an experiment… anything. I really need the money."

He walked past me and past the ugly receptionist lady and opened one of the back doors, he glanced back and said, "Follow me."

I thanked God a man like him had come along or I don't know how long I could have dealt with that lady. I strode past her and stuck out my tongue. She just huffed and turned away. I followed Dr. Hatori down a long hallway and into what seemed like an office, he gestured for me to sit down and when I did he closed the door, which automatically put me into high alert.

I had met men like that, who had given up themselves, but survived long enough to pull others down with them. They would do horrible acts of injustice, just to get someone else to lose their will to live. For a while, my brother and I stayed in a place called Paradise, Ohio. In my school I had met a boy, one of my neighbors in fact, who was beaten by his Dad almost every day. There were nights when I couldn't sleep just because of his screams. No doubt everyone else in our ratty old apartments knew too, but they all had their own problems to deal with, so none helped him.

He would come to school with bruises covering his face but the teachers turned a blind eye, so finally he gave up. He found a measly little boy to pick on, one of the underclassmen and he beat on him every day too. I wanted to help, I truly did, but the cost of helping was too high. So I stood by, while he was bullied, until sooner or later he gave up too. A few weeks later he took his own life in our changing room using his belt and loose piping hanging from the ceiling. After he died, our school held a vigil for him, and on that night when I was getting ready for bed, I heard the kid shoot himself and I heard the Father's wails.

It was a sad night, and all I could think about was how crappy life was. So now with this man standing before me with his hopeless eyes, I was cautionary, because only God knew what was going on in that head of his.

His monotone voice filled the room and gave me shivers.

"This is my office. The receptionist was right, we have no room for janitorial help. The only thing I can offer is the place of my secretary. What this job means is that you will be in charge of everything. Organization, making sure everyone is on track, including myself, you will also keep track of all of my mandatory meetings, as well as the matters of my personal life. This means you have to be by this phone all day while working, note messages left by my superiors and family, and make changes to my schedule. There will be days that I will be less than pleasant and I will order you to do errands, but you have to do them or else there will be consequences. This is a very tedious and hard job, seeing as you are a high school student it will be even more difficult. Though I must say the pay is good. Do you still wish to work here?"

It was not a hard choice.

"Yes."

He nodded.

"Good tomorrow you will come directly from your school here, it will be a test day, and after I will determine if you are right for the job." He reached under his desk and pulled out paperwork.

"I will need you to fill these out. I need some of your personal information, such as where you live, your phone number for when I need to get ahold of you, and your mailing address."

"I don't own a phone."

He sighed. "You will need to fix that Ms.….?"

"Suzuki."

"Right Suzuki. There will be days you need to come in early or stay late which means I will need to get ahold of you in some way. Also we are able to hook your personal phone up to our system which means you will be able to keep track of emails or phone calls sent throughout the hospital which will make your job significantly easier."

"I understand."

I really didn't, but I needed this job so I would have to use my leftover money from the previous jobs I've had. It isn't much but it would get something… I'd have to skip school lunches for a couple weeks, but I've gone longer without food before… at least I was getting a job.

I looked back up at him.

"I'm glad we've come to an understanding."

I finished filling out the paperwork and handed it to him. I made to walk out the door when he said,

"Don't be late either."

I smiled as I walked out the door. This job was definitely going to difficult, but it was just what I needed to get my mind off everything that was happening right now.

I was in a good mood the whole walk home, and I actually got a good sleep. 

Hatori PoV:

The phone barely started to ring when he picked up.

"What?"

Hatori tapped nervously on the desk.

"She applied for the job."

A slight pause.

"Good… break her."

(A/N)

_Ahhhhhhhhh long time no see! I have gotten a new laptop and it is beautiful, I just love the keyboard. I'm so excited to be writing this story again and I love all the feedback I've been getting along with all the favorites and followers. Thank you so much you really motivate me! I hope it had enough dialogue in this one and I f not let me know! I appreciate constructive criticism, it helps me write and make the story better, as well as give you what you want! As always RxR. _


	5. Chapter 5

_Okay so alot of things have happened since I updated this story. I will not bore you with the details i will only say that I hope for the rest of my life I hope that was the brunt of it... this story was supposed to be the only and best one i would ever write and I will not give up on it. So it will continue._

xxx recap xxx

_The phone barely started to ring when he picked up._

_"What?"_

_Hatori tapped nervously on the desk._

_"She applied for the job."_

_A slight pause..._

_"Good...break her."_

xxx

Chapter 5:

The moment I got home I knew something was wrong. There was a feeling in the air, a tenseness, that was palpable. Immediately I prepared for the worse, my brother's cold body lifeless on the floor, his flat eyes staring back at me as if accusing me of leaving him to die.

I grabbed the closest thing to me, a coatrack and braced myelf for the kill. I slowly rounded the corner and crouched ducking behind our crappy vomit green couch and tensing when I heard a crashing behind my Brother's door. I leaped to attention and slammed the door open, if there was crashing that eant my brother was fighting back...if I was fast enough I could save him before things got to serious, if I didnt i would be alone, I would-

"Toh-Suzuki- God what are you doing here I thought you were going to look for a job I thought-"

My Brother's voice floated out the window as the coatrack fell out of my grasp. Inside my Brother's room lay a stark naked boy strewn across the blanket obviously still in the throws of passion. The room looked hideous as all the scratches on the walls screamed at me telling me _, this was the crashing. You incompetent fool! You ignorant being the so called threat you thought you were going to face is just sex! God, how could you be so stupid! You so scared just absolutley pathetic-_ I couldnt face that not now not here in front of my damned brother.

So I raced out of his room, mortified and embarrassed. I stopped in our living rrom huddling in the corner of our couch, the one i used as defense mere seconds before catching my brother in his-his-BETRAYAL.

I could hear his footsteps stomping out of his room, ones I always told him to fix, after ushering his SLUT out of his room and out of the door. I breathed slowly in and out as he sat down next to me silently counting to 10.

"Im so sorry Tohru. I never meant for you to find out this way. I was always scared of what you would think of me being gay and all-"

I jumped off the couch and almost broke the wall when i punched it, and i screamed. I turned around and glared down at my once most trusted friend I had ever had. The only friend I had ever had.

" How fucking DARE you! Do you possibly think I would give a care if you were gay? I love you, YOUR MY BROTHER! I could care less! What i do care about is the fact that you could be dead!"

"Tohru-" His eyes portrayed shock but at this moment I could care less.

"NO, listen to me right now! Anyone you sleep with you have to give them a name, what if you slip up? One rule... ONE RULE! And what do you do ? Break it! You could be dead-" I was choking up crying for what seemed like the first time in forever, but I didnt care," I would be alone. Do you understand? I would be alone..."

And as soon as I saw the tears in his eyes, as soon as I saw the movement indicating he would get up and come to hug me...I left. I ran out of the door and kept on running. Past street lights and stop signs and cars. I could hear them honking and screeching to a halt. But I didnt care if he was willing to risk his life-to leave me all alone- I would do the same, see how he liked it.

I finally came to a stop at the park a couple of blocks from our apartment and found myself sitting on one of the swings relishing in letting go. I started crying and put my hood over my head setting up a steady rthym to calm me down.

_Tuck._

_Stretch._

_Tuck. _

_Stretch._

Tuc-

I was high up in the air flying...it felt like I was flying_._

Suddenly I was back in time, next to my Brother laughing at his stupid antics. With Mom, relishing in sweet happiness. The complete opposite of Fear, instead of sour rotten berries clawing at my guts, the flavor of sweet strawberries burst on my tongue and led me to believe I was 3 again. I was flying..._flying._

All at once my happiness came crashing to the ground as I heard a small rustling in the bushes behing me and I tensed in response. Slowly I got out of the swing clenching my hands into my fists readying into the most defensive stance i could in this open vulnerable area.

A red-haired boy came crawling out of the shadows and almost instantly I started cursing in my head because I knew this could be no coincidence. Kyou stood before me in all of his defensive rude glory and chuckled when I stayed in my stance, which I did not find comforting...at all.

"Whatcha doing out here in the middle of the evening?"

xxx

_ooooooooooh, whats gonna happen next? Sorry if it wasnt that long Im just dying to get something out finally after all this time. Anyways loves and kisses, Im back . _


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